Before
we can create a paradigm shift, Fat Loss Remedy Kit we need to fully understand what we
are "shifting" from. Codependency is a covert, elusive and
destructive disorder that is eroding and destroying our emotional and
spiritual life on the planet. It is an unconscious, psychological
time traveler that has destroyed millions of lives over generations.
Codependency begins in childhood when a child survives by
unconsciously abandoning their core identity and root honesty, taking
on dishonest, maladaptive roles to feel accepted, received and loved.
Codependency is an invisible monster that moves through our family
systems, destroying any potential for self-actualization,
unconditional love and spiritual connection. We, the human race,
created codependency and it is our responsibility to
counter-condition codependency's unconscious, psychological
attachments and put an end to its destructive powers.
Codependency
creates two unconscious codependent survival roles during child/teen
years, the "controller" and "dependent". Each
role has been conditioned to honor a false definition of love. The
"controller" has been conditioned to abandon themselves to
fix, rescue and save the chronic dependent. The "dependent"
has been conditioned to abandon themselves and dishonestly "people
please" and seeks to be rescued and saved by the "controller".
The two codependent roles magnetically attract, creating a powerful
revolving door pattern I have named "the addicts loop".
Inside the "addict's loop", each codependent role
unconsciously seeks their "love bond" and "euphoric
high/fix" to feel accepted and receive but always end up
abandoned, heartbroken, resentful and devastated. As we
counter-condition ourselves from codependency, we must begin to
counter-condition our children. A child/teen that has been
conditioned with codependency lives in a secret, dishonest world. The
"dependent" child will perform and "people please"
and be seen as the child/teen everyone likes and gets along with. The
"controller" will dishonestly perform and become the "can
do kid", straight A student, football quarterback or high
achiever. Both personality traits can be very positive if the child
does not unconsciously and dishonestly "perform" them to be
accepted and loved.
Parents
and society will naturally validate these roles and the child/teen
will continue to etch their false codependency roles deeper into
their life. Over time, the two codependent roles learn to abandon,
shame and condemn their own core identity, creating a detachment and
split from their root honesty, the internal message being " I
don't count, I'm stupid, I need to fix it, I'm defective and wrong".
The more the controller and dependent condemn their core identity,
the more they rely on their codependency role(s). The tragedy is over
years of conditioning, the child/teen will believe their destructive
codependency role is their authentic self. It is our responsibility
to uncover our unconscious, destructive, codependency patterns and be
responsible that our children our experiencing and navigating their
life from their deep root honesty and authentic self. Honoring our
personal truth and honesty will greatly conflict with our
codependency role(s). The dependent has been conditioned to fear
being a problem or unlikable, and confrontation. The controller
unconsciously fears abandonment if they are not in complete control
and "fixing" the dependent's life and other meaningful
relationships. Both codependency roles can be counter conditioned
over time, but this will take courage and patience.
When
we refuse to perform our dishonest codependency role(s), family,
partners, friends and employment relationships may become
disrespectful, enraged, and may abandon us. Everything must be
risked. The goal is to protect and honor our deep truth and root
honesty at all costs.This is the opposite of what codependency
demands from us. People abandoning us can be a manipulation because
they can't engage, control and satisfy the hypnotic, destructive
"controller/dependent" dance. Honest, loving family
members, partners and friends stand strong and won't abandon when
healthy boundaries are being set. If our intimate relationships,
family and friends unconsciously demand our false codependency
performances, the relationships must be evaluated and adjusted. When
our awareness and actions become stronger than our unconscious
gravitating codependency role(s), the paradigm shift from
codependency to our core identity and authentic self will begin to
self-actualize and create a new born freedom, a vital experience of
self and a deeper connection with relationships, life, unconditional
love and a higher power.
